Sometimes I wonder, if I have stood still for too long. In a wink of an eye, familiar faces became strangers, warm relationships went cold, and feelings that used to warm my heart transformed into heartaches. Perhaps, I have changed, but still standing still, unable and unwilling to move, not even an inch.

Sometimes I wonder, whether the reason I despise so many people and so many things in life is because underneath of all I despise myself. I despise for who I have become, and unable and unwilling to change, not even one characteristic.

Sometimes I wonder, if anyone truly understands me. Or perhaps, I have never opened any doors to allow anyone to enter my world. I have always feared or refused anyone from understanding me, because I fear the mockery and criticism. So, instead I complain and whine, unable and unwilling to give a try, not even once.

Sometimes I wonder…